on dark and stormy nights
when the moon is full
and the ghouls and goblins
come out of the woodwork
and roam the streets of pitch black darkness,
i’m carried off to another world
where life imitates art,
where it still rains cats and dogs,
where sparks fly,
and i see eye to eye with the kiss of death.
i sound like a broken record
when i speak my truth
from the bottom of my heart
because i feel that in the pit of my soul
i couldn’t care less
about what other people think,
for it would cost me an arm and a leg
to know the real truth.
(i wasn’t born yesterday, you know)
i just have to bite my tongue
and say my prayers
for my better half,
‘cause she’s as cute as a button,
down to earth, and a dirty blond,
but all the people say she’s just a fox in a henhouse.
i beg to differ
because she follows the law of the land
and always kills two birds with one stone.
but, just between you and me,
i would kick her to the curb
if she ever messed with me like that
or put me through some emotional roller coaster
of epic proportions
because i’m every mom’s worst nightmare.
i don’t care what other people think
about me, mother nature’s wrath,
or being rushed to the hospital
during an emergency situation
where my broken heart
and bloodshot eyes simply call out for help
because all i want to do is be with her.
but no one ever listens to little old me
or invites me over to their last horrah.
but, you know what? it’s all gravy
because i’ve got my mojo workin’
and i refuse to be strangled to death
by rain showers in the midst of dire straits
because the bottom line is, by morning,
when the dew glistens on the grass
and the birds are chirping in a cloudless sky,
i will always be here for her
even if she turns her back on me
because i like
long walks on the beach,
getting caught in the rain,
and reading poetry,
but i hate clichés.
Written in Columbia, SC 2012
Author’s Thought: ‘Let me rephrase that.’ I fucking hate clichés. 

Categories: Clever Poetry, Funny Poetry | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Truth

  1. QT

    I feel like I lived this poem while I was reading it.

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